


Only Fool Rush In

by thudworm



Series: Tony Stark Bingo 2020 [10]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Drunken Confessions, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Mutual Pining, Obadiah Stane is a bag of dicks, Steve is 25, THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED, Tony is 18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24894397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thudworm/pseuds/thudworm
Summary: Due to a condition in Howard's will, Tony needs to find someone willing to sham marry him before he can claim his inheritance. Including taking over Stark Industries.The facts that Steve is the one who volunteered to help, and that Tony has a massive crush on him, shouldn't be a problem. Right?
Relationships: James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Tony Stark Bingo 2020 [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1619530
Comments: 8
Kudos: 184
Collections: Tony Stark Bingo 2020





	1. S5- No Powers

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Only Fools Rush In  
> Collaborator Name: @thudworm  
> Card Number: 3093  
> Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24894397  
> Square Filled: S5- No Powers  
> AP1- Fake Marriage/Marriage of Convenience  
> K5- Drunk Dialling/Wrong Number  
> Ship/Main Pairing: Tony Stark/Steve Rogers  
> Rating: Teen  
> Major Tags: College AU, fake marriage, age difference (Steve is 25, Tony is 18)  
> Summary: Due to a condition in Howard's will, Tony needs to find someone willing to sham marry him before he can claim his inheritance. Including taking over Stark Industries.  
> The facts that Steve is the one who volunteered to help, and that Tony has a massive crush on him, shouldn't be a problem. Right?  
> Word Count: 3609 (Chapter 1)  
> 3845 (Chapter 2)  
> 2676 (Chapter 3)

Tony seriously resented his father's ability to fuck up his life. Maybe he was a bad person for thinking badly of the dead, especially when it was his dear old dad, but Howard had always had a special affinity for being a dick.

There had been an epic screaming match that resulted in Tony being denied support to attend college, all because Tony decided to pursue a science/engineering degree instead of studying business like Howard wanted. 

Howard had been even less impressed when he learned Tony had been using his mother's name instead of Stark at college. Three years later no one he met at school had managed to put two and two together and realised the Tony Carbonell they shared classes with was the same person as the Tony Stark they saw on the front pages of gossip magazines attending galas and other high society bullshit. Rhodey had been the only person he told the truth to, and he had cemented his position as Tony’s best friend for life when not a single thing changed about how he treated Tony. The first time Rhodey hadn’t hesitated to bitch him out about leaving his dirty laundry strewn about their dorm room Tony had hugged him. 

Of course, Howard getting drunk and ramming himself into a fucking tree put an end to his anonymity. There had been a six month reprieve, but apparently all bets were off once Tony had turned 18. Multiple exposes were run over the summer, including one which had included his use of his mother’s name to attend college. People who had barely acknowledged Tony Carbonell suddenly wanted to be Tony Stark’s new best friend; his phone had not stopped ringing, chiming, or beeping, so Tony had cannibalised it for parts and turned it into an alarm clock. His new phone number was going to remain a closely guarded secret- at this point only Rhodey and Obie knew it. 

Rhodey had been worried (probably with good reason, if he was honest with himself) that Tony would end up isolating himself from other people and hermiting in his lab without Rhodey there to drag him away. Rhodey had received word he was being assigned to a base on the other side of the world shortly after graduation, but Tony was staying in college to do his Master of Mechanical Engineering. So, in order to alleviate Rhodey’s concern (which had only gotten worse after the news broke) about him not having any friends, Tony had given in to the badgering and agreed to join the study group Rhodey’s girlfriend Carol was part of. 

The group had apparently been formed last semester to deal with the gruelling nature of Professor Fury’s World Politics class. Today was going to be Tony’s first time joining them, and he was nervous about it. Tony had met a few of them socially once or twice, because they were a group of friends as well as study buddies, and even made a few tentative friendships within the group, but he still felt like he would be an outsider. 

Tony felt like an idiot as he lingered outside the door to the study room. He was torn between the fear of being rejected, and the fear they would be interested in him only for what he was useful for now that they who he was. Or both. That had happened to him before, back when he was at larding school. The older students had wanted nothing to do with him, unless they could use him to do their homework. 

Tony took a deep breath, sternly told himself to ‘get on with it’, and opened the door. He was apparently the last person to turn up, so there were a lot of eyes suddenly on him as he walked in. They all greeted him simply, just ‘hey Tony’ or ‘glad you could make it’, and Steve pulled out the empty chair beside him in invitation. Tony couldn’t refuse the opportunity to sit next to Steve, even if it meant he had no hope of getting any work done.

When Tony had first met some of the group, Steve had instantly caught his attention. Not only was he 6’2” of solid muscle with a beard that could put a lumberjack to shame; he was also a genuinely nice guy. All of which added up to Tony developing a crush the size of the sun, which had him distracted the entire study session. Looking through the notes he’d failed to write, it would have been generous to say he’d done half a page. 

“Hey, Tony?” someone asked as everyone was packing up their stuff. “Did you want us to keep calling you Tony Carbonell, or switch to Stark?”

Tony tensed. “Stark is fine. Not like it’s a secret anymore anyway.” He waited for the inevitable follow up questions, but no one said anything about it. Everyone shuffled their way out of the study room, except for Steve, who was hovering awkwardly by the door.

Tony gave him a quizzical look, and Steve rubbed at the back of his neck.

“I know it’s none of my business, but I couldn’t help but notice you seemed distracted.” 

“I’m fine,” Tony said quickly, but Steve was still talking. 

“And I wanted to ask if everything was okay, and I figured it wasn’t something I should ask with an audience, and now I’m feeling like an idiot who’s really overstepped, but if you want someone to talk to, I’m not busy.”

Steve sounded like he was asking because he genuinely cared, not because he was after the latest gossip. 

“It’s just dealing with exhausting family stuff. I’m sure you don’t want to hear about me arguing with people about my dad’s will,” Tony said.

“I meant it when I said I was willing to listen. Even if it’s just being a sounding board to vent at,” Steve offered again. 

Tony thought it over for a moment before deciding to trust Steve. “Okay, but not here. Least I can do is buy you a coffee as thanks.”

Tony led the way to his favourite coffee shop on campus. All of the baristas there knew him and his order on sight, and more often than not it was ready and waiting for him before he reached the till to pay. Steve was genuinely friendly to the staff as he gave his order, the exact opposite of a certain ex. Tony had learned the hard way that someone who treated service staff like crap would carry that on to everyone else, but Steve was showing every sign of being a decent person. 

Once they were seated with their coffees in front of them, Tony didn’t know where to start. Steve seemed to get it, though, and gave him an opening question. “You said it was your father’s will you had to argue about, but not your mother’s?”

“Well, you know who I am, right?” Tony asked with a grimace. “So you know that most of the money, and property, and company shares, were Howard’s. It’s not like she didn’t have money and stuff of her own, and that all passed to me without a problem, but Howard is the big leagues. Hence the fighting.”

Steve was looking sympathetic. “I’ve heard all sorts of horrible stories about families being torn up over stuff like that. I suppose I was sorta lucky in that respect. Growing up, it was always just me and Ma, so when she passed there was no one else. Not that there would have been anything to fight over anyway.” 

Anything Tony might have said to that would have seemed trite, so he just got to the point. “The problem is this one particular clause in my dad’s will. Apparently he didn’t think I’m ‘mature enough to handle the roles and responsibilities’ that come with being a Stark. So until I can prove otherwise, or I turn 40, my inheritance is to be held in trust by my godfather. So, it’s nice to know he figured me turning 40 would probably be the first to happen.”

“That sucks.” Coming from anyone else it probably would have sounded patronising, but Steve was just such a genuine guy that his sympathy felt sincere. For the first time since Rhodey had left, talking to someone about a problem actually was helpful. 

“You got that right. And it’s not that I want to be the one running the company, but being cut out from it? That’s infuriating.”

“Who’s running it now then, if not you?”

“Howard’s business partner, and my godfather, Obadiah Stane. Or uncle Obie, which is how he was to me growing up. He’s also the executor of the will, which made it weird when I had to fight tooth and nail to even find out about it. He was more of a father to me than Howard in some ways, but now here he is enforcing the bastards maturity clause.”

“How are you meant to prove your maturity?” Steve asked. 

Tony did his best impression of Obie’s gruff voice. “‘Tony, it’s time to get serious if you want to run this company. No more messing around with robots, you need to knuckle down and look into business school. You can’t expect to take over without solid footing.’ Which, not happening. He originally took my side when dad and I had the same argument a few years ago, but apparently things have changed now. Or.”

Tony drained the last of the coffee in his mug before continuing. “Or, I have to get married. I think he thinks that if I find a nice society girl, she’ll settle me down, keep me in line. I don’t know why though, it’s not like that ever worked on Howard.”

Steve made a face, but didn’t say anything. 

“I maybe have an idea to beat Obie at his own game, but since Rhodey is deployed, I don’t have anyone I can ask for a favour that big.”

“Rhodey?”

“Carol’s boyfriend?”

“Oh, James. Right, I should have realised. My best friend is a James too, except he’s always been Bucky to me.”

“He’s the one who introduced me to the whole group, because he's a worrywart. For some reason he didn’t want me to not have other people lined up to spend time with, he thinks I’ll spend all my time holed up in the lab, forgetting how human interaction works.”

“Is that a valid concern?” Steve asked, as if he didn’t already suspect the answer to his question was yes. 

Tony grumbled something noncommittal. 

“So, what is this plan you need a massive favour to carry out?”

“I need someone who’s willing to pretend to marry me. Well, it’d be a real marriage on paper, obviously it’d have to be in order to satisfy the lawyers, and then once everything’s sorted we get an amicable divorce citing ‘irreconcilable differences.’”

“What if I offered to marry you?”

“You barely know me! I can’t ask you to tie yourself to me like that.”

“You’re not asking, I’m offering.”

“I don’t think you get how big a commitment it would be. If I turn up tomorrow claiming to be married, there’s no way Obie would believe it’s legit. It’s gonna be months, if not years, before he runs out of excuses to keep me out, and this wouldn’t be pretending for a few hours every other week. He’s a sneaky bastard- I know for a fact he’s got private investigators on payroll to keep tabs on competitors, and let’s just say I wouldn’t be surprised to learn he’s sent them after me either.”

It was a lucky thing that Tony’s cup was empty, because the sudden sound of Steve’s phone startled him enough that he knocked it over. 

“Oh, shit. I lost track of time,” Steve said. “I hate to run away on you, but I have a class to get to, on the other side of campus. 

“It’s okay, I should probably get back to the robotics lab as well. Let me give you my number before you go, so you can let me know if this really is something you want to do. Give it some thought first, don’t feel obligated to help me. There are a few other avenues I can explore, like siccing the lawyers onto him.”

Steve slid his phone across the table to Tony so he could input his details, but instead of waiting for Tony to pass it back he was suddenly standing right next to Tony. 

Tony had been sitting across from Steve for the past half an hour, but looking at how buff and attractive he was was nothing compared to actually having him close enough to touch. 

God, he was even more perfect up close. Steve took advantage of Tony’s distraction to steal his phone back from Tony’s hands, and kiss him. It was barely more than a peck on the lips, but it shook Tony to the core. 

“There’s no time like the present to start, right?” Steve asked rhetorically with a shiteating grin. Tony stared after him, admiring the view, as he wandered off to class. He allowed his head to thump down onto the table and mumbled to himself “I’m in so much trouble.”

—-

Tony really should have thought this through. If he was pretending to date Rhodey, or another friend, it might have been a bit awkward when they had to actually kiss, or hold hands, or any other romantic gestures. But Steve wasn’t (just) a friend. 

Kissing Steve was amazing and terrible. Amazing because it was Steve, terrible because he wanted it to be happening for real- because Steve wanted to kiss him, not because he had to for the sake of the plan. Tony could never let Steve have even an inkling of his real feelings, because that would make it awkward, especially when Steve would feel obligated to stick to the plan and continue pretending to date Tony, even after rejecting him. Because that was the type of awesome guy Steve was; he’d put aside his own discomfort just to help a friend, even if that friend didn’t deserve it. 

Case in point- keeping the truth about their agreement secret, even from their friends. Steve had called him that first evening, after agreeing to help him out, so they could set the ground rules and figure out how it was all going to work. Most of it was pretty simple, going on dates like a normal couple and spending free time together on campus; but lying to everyone was a more contentious point.

Steve wanted to be able to tell at least a couple of his friends, the ones he really trusted, what was really going on between them, but Tony insisted no one could know. He trusted Steve’s judgement about his friends, but accidents happened sometimes. Even if they didn’t blab on purpose, all it took was one wrong comment to be overheard by the right person at the right time for everything to come crashing down around them. 

“No one can spill a secret they don’t know.”

Tony even managed to convince Steve to keep the secret from his best friend, despite said best friend not attending college with them, or having any friends in common. 

—- 

There were two types of dates Tony went on with Steve. Most were normal dates, what you’d expect any average college couple to do together: movies, dinner, parties, and on one memorable occasion Steve dragged Tony to a baseball game. Those dates were mostly aimed at pretending for their friends, but Tony would have been lying if he said they weren’t also for him. His feelings for Steve had moved way beyond being a crush into full-blown love. He loved Steve, and he would take any chance to spend time with him, as often as possible. 

The other dates were aimed at catching the occasional eye of any paparazzi lurking around the trendy nightspots. A pattern of being seen on a night on the town every other week for a few months would help build the credibility of their relationship. Like he’d told Steve at the beginning of their arrangement, he didn’t trust Obie as far as he could throw him, and shutting down any possible avenues of contention could only help later on. 

Two months into (fake) dating Steve, Tony was sure he was being followed around campus. He was familiar with the standard tactics of paparazzi trying to get the best ‘real life’ shot they could surreptitiously, and this felt different. It might have just been a particularly desperate pap, trying to find something scandalous from a less prominent target, but Tony thought the more likely (if more paranoid) explanation was that Obie had finally sent one of his PI’s after him. 

Well, regardless of who it was following him, his response was going to be the same. The end goal of all this was to convince Obie this relationship, and eventual fake marriage, was real, so putting on a show of his affection for Steve would work for fooling either the PI or gossip monger. 

He gave no outward sign of awareness he was being followed, no looking over his shoulder, no taking a complicated route to try to lose them. He had plans to meet up with Steve in a few hours, but he needed to move that to now. One quick text later, Tony made his way to the coffee shop. Steve had beaten him there, and was sitting at their usual table with two coffees, but instead of taking the chair across from Steve, Tony sat in his lap. Steve hid his surprise well, and Tony pretended to kiss him on the cheek as he whispered his suspicions in Steve’s ear. 

Steve, to his credit, took the need to put on a show in his stride. He kept his arms wrapped around Tony, hugging him close. They stayed that way, Tony sitting on Steve and trading affectionate gestures back and forth, until Tony’s alarm for his next class sounded and Steve pulled him in for one hell of a goodbye kiss. 

Over the next few weeks Tony made a point of searching his name on all the usual celebrity gossip sites. At no point did any photos from the day he was followed surface, but there were others from before and after that did show up instead. It wasn’t conclusive proof, but it did definitely suggest his suspicions had been correct. 

\---

Phone calls from Rhodey were a rare delight, and Tony always made sure he had time set aside with no possible distractions when they were scheduled. 

“You’ve been holding out on me,” was the first thing Rhodey greeted him with when Tony picked up the phone. 

“Don’t be like that, honey bear. Of course I wanted to tell you, but it’s not like I can just shoot you a quick text. It’s not my fault you’re all the way on the other side of the world.”

Rhodey snorted dismissively. “As if you’d let that stop you. I’m just saying, I’m meant to be your best friend, which means I shouldn’t be learning that you have a boyfriend through the rumour mill. Some of the guys here love those gossip rags, and when they came to ask me for the inside scoop on the story about you, I had to admit I had no idea what they were talking about.”

“I really am sorry. How about this- next time I have big news like that, I’ll make sure you hear it from me first. I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” 

“So anyway. Tell me about your new squeeze.”

“What is there to tell? We’ve had coffee together a few times, been on a couple of dates. I honestly don’t know why the paparazzi are even interested at this stage, it’s nothing serious.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m not worried about you. Looking at the photos, this guy is more than just a couple of years older than you.”

“Oh for fucks sake!” Tony snapped. “I’ve basically been looking after myself since I was an undergrad. Hell, once I convince Obie to back off I’ll be taking over a Fortune 100 company worth billions, but somehow I’m not mature enough to choose who I do or don’t date?”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” 

Tony winced. He hadn’t meant to take his anger at the situation out on Rhodey, and it was frustrating to know things would be much simpler if he could just tell him everything. 

“I’m sorry, it just feels like everyone’s on my back about the age thing. Ty was basically the same age as me when he was hanging around, so obviously that isn’t exactly a solid indicator of anything.”

“Speaking of that jackass, how do you know this isn’t gonna be a repeat of his bullshit? How much can you really trust this guy?”

“First of all, he couldn’t be further from Ty if he tried. And secondly, I met him through that study group. The one which  _ you _ insisted I join in the first place!”

“That doesn’t mean I know the guy well enough to trust him with my best friend.”

“I love you too, sugar blossom.”

From there, Tony turned the conversation to what Rhodey had been up to lately. Obviously, the finer details were considered classified, but Rhodey had enough stories to tell about his fellow soldiers, like someone getting sent in search of a left handed wrench, to keep them laughing together until they ran out of time. 


	2. Jan adopted prompt- Fake Marriage/Marriage of Convenience

Six months. Tony had spent the past six months pretending to date the guy he had a massive crush on, and now it was time to move to the next step in the plan. Marriage. Specifically, travelling to Las Vegas for Spring Break so he and Steve could have a supposedly spur of the moment drunk wedding. Obviously, if it was a real relationship, getting married after only six months together would have been a monumental mistake, but there was a not-so-small part of Tony that wished it was happening for real anyway. 

At the beginning of their ruse Tony had just had a crush, but now. Now he was in full-blown love. And he couldn’t say a word about it to Steve. He was doing Tony a massive favour by pretending to marry him, and the last thing Tony wanted was to make him uncomfortable, or take advantage. Because Steve was such a good guy, he would politely suffer through the unwanted affection and continue with the plan to not leave Tony high-and-dry.

“I still don’t know why we couldn’t have just done something small back home with our friends. Courthouse wedding, done,” Steve complained. 

Which was exactly how Tony would have preferred to do this, but none of this was about what Tony wanted. Especially when Tony wanted to be doing this for real. 

“Because it’s practically mandatory for a rich young asshole like me to get drunk and do something stupid on Spring Break. If I don’t, they’ll make up something to sell anyway. People will believe it easily enough. Hell, it’s probably more believable this way. ” 

Steve made a grumpy face when Tony pointed that out, but couldn’t exactly argue he was wrong. Tony knew what his reputation was like, and at least it was working in his favour for once. The vast majority of it was flat-out bullshit, like the dozens of people who claimed to have slept with him; and anything that was based in truth still ended up distorted, such as what happened with Sunset Bain. Tony had alone met her a handful of times, mostly at parties Ty had dragged him to. She had been far more interested in him than he was in her, and she hadn’t taken rejection well. Rumours spread like wildfire about Tony chasing after her, leaving Ty heartbroken to have been cheated on. Despite their relationship supposedly being open, an opportunity which Ty had taken and Tony hadn’t. Hindsight had made it clear Ty had seen Tony as a meal ticket after his own parents had withdrawn their support, but hadn’t also been willing to forgo fucking half the pretty girls in their class. 

“You know I don’t think of you like that, right?” Steve asked, bringing Tony back to the present. Tony felt himself fall just a bit further in love with his future (fake) husband. 

“I know,” Tony replied, and gave Steve a kiss on the cheek. “Now, let’s go get hitched.”

One of the benefits of being a Stark was access to the private jet, which Tony had taken full advantage of for this trip. Tony had taken care of all the arrangements during their flight, including deciding where the ceremony was happening. Steve had tried to suggest a courthouse wedding, but Tony was insistent that a fake Elvis be involved. The whole point of getting hitched in Las Vegas was to have a ceremony that was as over the top ridiculous and gaudy as possible. 

Tony had also tried to convince Steve to wear a white suit with a veil, but when that was vetoed too, he didn’t push the issue. He was already asking too much from Steve. 

—-

The secret to a successful marriage was compromise, according to some random advice column Tony had read once, so that’s what he was going to do. Tony really wasn’t in the mood for a fancy dinner somewhere, room service while wearing sweatpants was more his speed, but Steve wanted a proper meal in a restaurant, so that’s what they were going to do. Given Tony had won the argument about where they had got married, it seemed like the least he could do to take his new husband out for dinner. 

He left the choice of venue entirely up to Steve, who chose the Silver Leaf- nothing too fancy, but a step up from something like Olive Garden. 

Sitting there, across from Steve, Tony was forced to concede (only in the privacy of his own mind) that this maybe wasn’t the worst idea. Spending ‘couple time’ with Steve was worth the effort of wearing ‘proper’ clothes, instead of a ratty old sweatshirt he’d stolen from Rhodey. 

Their waiter, who must have been 80 if he was a day, came over with the menus and introduced himself as Stan. It took a few attempts for him to get their order right, and when their food was eventually ready, it took him twice as long to bring it to their table as any other waiter was taking, and Tony was genuinely worried the man would trip and break a hip on the journey. 

When the check came, Stan went to hand it to Steve, but Tony snagged it first instead. Steve looked like he was about to argue, but Tony cut him off before he could. “Don’t. You’re the one doing me a favour here, so I’m paying for dinner.”

“But I’m the one who dragged you out for dinner, so it should be me who pays,” Steve argued. 

“Aren’t you such a nice young man.” The waiter apparently decided he wanted to weigh in. “It’s far too rare these days to see a son taking his old man out for dinner. I wish my son would come visit me more often.”

Rhodey had always claimed it would be a cold day in hell before Tony was left speechless by something, and the devil’s thermostat must have been on the fritz right now. Steve, on the other hand, looked like he was going to bust a rib with how hard he was holding back laughter. 

“He- he’s. He’s my husband. Not my son.” Steve eventually managed to choke out an explanation in between guffaws. 

“Oh. Well, you two lovebirds have fun tonight,” Stan said with a wink, and Tony wanted to melt into the floor. 

They managed to get through paying for dinner and into a cab without further mortification. “That’s it,” Tony declared. “I’m growing a beard.”

He already knew he was going to have an uphill battle to be taken seriously as the head of Stark Industries, once he got the situation with Obie sorted out. The last thing he needed was to have people mistaking him for a 13 year old as well. 

—-

Tony woke the next morning to the insistent buzzing of his phone on the bedside table next to him. He fumbled to grab hold of the damn thing. Unwilling to open his eyes any more than he had to, Tony squinted at the bright screen. It was hard to read any of the notifications, because as soon as he tried it was pushed off the screen by the next wave. Text messages, emails, social media notifications, all about one thing- his marriage to Steve. 

Tony flopped face first into his pillow. This was the opposite of how he wanted to handle it. Now, instead of a simple interview with a carefully chosen journalist, they’d have to spend weeks contending with ridiculous rumours. It was a safe bet that the story had gotten out because they’d been overheard at dinner last night, but Tony wasn’t going to tell Steve ‘I told you so.’ There wasn't going to be a do-over; all that they could do was make the best of it. One small mercy was that, with them both being men, at least none of the speculation would suggest it was a shotgun wedding. 

There was no point trying to put it off, Tony had to start getting the truth out to those who needed to know. Think of the devil- Tony’s phone rang in his hand, Obie on the caller ID. 

Tony took a deep breath to brace himself, then answered. He barely managed to say hello before Obie started demanding answers. “The phones have been ringing off the hook here, every media outlet and their dog looking to confirm or deny the news. You couldn’t have given anyone a head up, Tony? Not even me?”

Tony refused to feel guilty. Obie was the one responsible for this situation, so he could shove the guilt-trip where the sun didn't shine.

“It’s not like I planned this,” he lied. “We came to Vegas to have some fun, and it got a bit out of hand. And it’s not like I was expecting it to come to attention so soon, someone obviously overheard us and thought they could get a payday out of it.”

“So what am I meant to be telling people now, hmm? Do you think it reflects well on me, on the  _ company _ , to have you doing things like this? This sort of immaturity is exactly why Howard wrote his will the way he did.” 

“Just have the PR department put out a statement or something,” Tony said through gritted teeth. Any noticeable display of anger could only work against him. “Say that it was a spur of the moment decision, and maybe we would have waited a bit longer to do it if we’d thought it through, but we do intend to make the marriage work, though.”

Obie seemed to have a list of complaints to berate Tony with, and the next one up was the lack of a prenup agreement. He was still on the phone to Obie when there was a knock on the door, and Steve entered, bearing coffee. 

“I love you,” Tony said, his mouth one step ahead of his brain filter. He quickly pointed to the phone he was still stuck talking to Obie on as an explanation. Hopefully Steve would buy it, and interpret his slip as a display for the benefit of who he was on the phone to. 

“Looks, Obie, I have to go now. My husband is here.” Tony hung up the phone before Obie had a chance to protest, and resisted the urge to throw the damn thing against the wall. Obie would probably make certain assumptions about why exactly Tony had dropped him for his husband, which was good. It would be one small piece of making the entire ruse seem believable. 

“That sounded like it was going well,” Steve said with a wry smile, and Tony just had to laugh.

“That’s one way of putting it. He’s insisting on us getting a post-nup done, sooner rather than later, which was part of the plan anyway.”

“Post-nup?” Steve asked, with a head tilt Tony refused to find adorable.

“Postnuptial agreement, exactly like a prenup, but done after the wedding instead of before. Which is gonna mean hours and hours of listening to lawyers argue over minutia.”

“I’m sure it won’t be that bad,” Steve said.

Tony laughed mirthlessly. “Famous last words, Rogers.” 

That reminded Tony of something else he needed to bring up with Steve. Was he going to change his last name? 

Talking it through, Steve decided he would use the Stark name socially, but not change it professionally or actually go through the process to change it legally, sort of like what some actresses tended to do. It would be a massive hassle to change everything with dozens of departments, companies, and the school, especially when he’d then have to do it all again when they divorced at the end of the ruse. Tony also didn’t want to force Steve to be stuck with his name professionally if (when) his art career took off while they were married. 

—-

Having a private jet at his disposal meant that Tony unfortunately had no excuse not to return to Stark Industries main office in New York that day to deal with the lawyers. It also meant Tony had a few hours to spare, and a best friend to share some news with. 

There was a significant time difference between where he was and where Rhodey was, not to mention the hoops he was going to have to jump through to get into contact with him through the various levels of command. But even though he had no official position with SI, he had enough unofficial contacts he could call on. Tony pulled the strings he had access to, and then it was just a waiting game before Rhodey came through. 

Steve was staring at his own phone like it was going to jump up and bite him. At Tony’s quizzical look, Steve grimaced. “Hearing you trying to make contact with your best friend reminded me I probably need to do the same, and I know he’s not gonna take it well.”

“Well, however bad you think it’s going to be, it’ll be worse if he learns it from the front page of some gossip rag rather than you. Trust me, I’ve gotten that lecture before,” Tony pointed out. 

“Yeah, I know,” Steve said, and took one last deep breath before he hit the call button on his phone.

Tony wasn’t trying to eavesdrop on Steve’s phone call, but there wasn’t exactly much privacy in the confined space of the airplane. At first, he could only hear half of the conversation as Steve went through the usual pleasantries of catching up with someone you hadn’t spoken to for a few days, but there was a distinct shift in tone when Steve finally got around to the heart of the matter. 

“YOU DID WHAT?”

Steve was holding his phone away from his ear as he tried, without much success, to defend himself, but the voice on the other end of the line was having none of it. Tony hadn’t had a chance to meet Steve’s best friend Bucky yet, so until now the only basis he had for any opinion of the man was based on the stories Steve had shared. Listening to their conversation, though, Tony was reminded of Rhodey so strongly it brought back the ache of missing him stronger than ever. At least he would get to talk to him again soon, even if it did mean he was going to get a chewing out of epic proportions. 

When the call from Rhodey finally came through, Tony had to spend several minutes convincing him nothing was wrong, which was a decent assumption for Rhodey to have made. Tony wouldn’t have gone to this effort for nothing. 

“What? I can’t just miss you and want to talk to you?” Tony replied, mock-offended. He didn’t have to be able to see Rhodey to know the ‘seriously?’ expression he was almost certainly making right now. 

“Fine then. You know how you told me not to let you find out important news through the media? Well…” Tony trailed off. Rhodey didn’t say anything; he just left an expectant silence and waited for Tony to fill it.

“Steve and I might have found our way in front of a fake Elvis. In a little chapel. In Las Vegas.” 

“Wow… Even for you, that’s. Wow. Don’t you think this is moving a bit too fast, even for you? So fast you couldn’t wait until I could be there with you? I always thought when you got married I’d be standing there at your side, like you’d be for me. Granted, I didn’t think it’d be happening any time soon for either of us, but still.”

“I’m sorry! I wanted nothing more than to have you there with me, but it was a spur of the moment thing!” Tony protested.

“No. You might be able to fool everybody else, but you’ve never been any good at lying to me. You planned this,” Rhodey accused. 

Sometimes he hated how well his best friend knew him. But Tony still couldn’t tell him what was really happening, because nothing had changed. If anything, the risk of being overheard was greater now than before. 

“You have to trust me here, platypus. Maybe there is something more going on, but I have to keep it to myself for a while longer.”

“Are you sure this isn’t just part of some gold-digging scheme?”

“Yes, I’m sure. I was the one who suggested we get hitched, and even if he’s in it for the money, the lawyers will have something to say about it. We’re actually on our way back to New York right now to deal with that. At Obie’s insistence of course.” 

“I wish I could have been there when you told him. Just to see that vein twitch when he tries to hide how pissed he is about something,” Rhodes said with a laugh. 

Tony knew that Rhodey had never liked Obie, had always said he got a bad vibe around him; and, given recent events, Tony was coming to agree with Rhodey. 

“I did some digging after our last conversation- you never told me how much older he is compared to you. I guessed there was a few years, but he’s twenty-five! You’re eighteen!” Rhodey shouted without actually raising his voice. 

“This is why I didn’t tell you, because I knew you’d react like this! It’s not like he was hanging around a high school, cruising for barely legal. We met at a college study group, where I talked about doing my Masters degree.”

“You know I worry about you. I just don’t want to see this turn into a repeat of the Ty situation.”

Tony sighed. He was sick of being reminded of his ex. “I know how this looks from the outside, but this really is different. Not because I want to believe it is, but because I know for a fact it is.” Because it’s not real, Tony thought bitterly to himself, but didn’t say. 

\---

“You definitely weren’t kidding about the army of lawyers,” Steve noted after they were finally,  _ finally _ done hammering out the details of the post-nup. Not only had there been a horde of lawyers there on behalf of the company, another set had been arranged by Obie for Tony’s personal assets, plus a third group who were there from an unrelated firm to represent Steve’s interests. 

The end result was a hand cramp from signing here and initialling there on every page of every copy of a contract long enough to put Victor Hugo to shame. It listed out, in excruciating detail, the accumulated wealth Tony had inherited from both Howard and Maria in the form of properties around the globe, cash and shares and bonds, and, of course, Stark Industries. All of which was designated as off-limits to Steve if (when) they divorced. Any art Steve created was exclusively his, including if any pieces sold for a high price. Any shared property acquired over the course of the marriage would be split evenly. 

At Tony’s insistence, and against the advice of his lawyers, there was also a get-out clause for Steve. In the event Tony was caught in an act of infidelity, Steve would be entitled to a payout of $500,000 for each year the marriage lasted. Not that Tony was actually going to cheat, but when the need for a paper marriage came to an end, it would be the simplest explanation to go public with. And the money was his way of thanking Steve for his assistance, because as much as Steve waved it off as nothing, it was a massive commitment he had made. 

—-

Tony had no plans to do anything much to celebrate his 19th birthday, but apparently Obie had other ideas. For the entire month of May Tony had been receiving increasingly less subtle ‘suggestions’ from Obie that Tony and his husband should come back to New York to celebrate it as a family. There were gratuitous references to Howard, and how proud of him his old man would have been, and other attempts to tug at his heartstrings. 

Tony knew it was blatant manipulation, not any genuine desire to see him, but he didn’t see a way he could refuse without offending Obie, and possibly tipping him off that he didn’t exactly trust him any more. It was a delicate balance Tony had to strike, keeping himself on Obie’s good side so he could actually get access to his inheritance, but not so close that he would give the game away.

The closer it got to the 29th, the more pointed Obie’s nagging became, until Tony finally gave in on the 22nd and agreed to make an appearance. Obie had been so glad to hear it that he demanded to be the one to make all the arrangements, over Tony’s objections. 

Which was how they ended up in a hotel room with only one bed. When Tony had confronted Obie (basing his objections more on the size of the room than the singular bed), Obie had just waved it off as all the hotel had left available, because of some event or other. And because “being in such close quarters shouldn’t be a problem for you two lovebirds, am I right? I’m right, aren’t I?”

The words had been friendly enough, and the tone of voice light-hearted teasing, but there was something off about how Obie had been watching him as he said it. Like he was looking for Tony to have a problem with sharing a bed with Steve. 

It wasn’t like Tony had any room to complain about Obie being suspicious about their relationship- it was fake. But that just meant he and Steve would have to be on top form with making it look like they were really in love. Not that Tony would really be pretending. 

Steve hadn’t seemed too worried about it either when Tony told him about Obie’s skepticism. “We’ve fooled everyone else so far, I don’t think we have anything to worry about this time either.” 

The morning of his 19th birthday, Tony woke up feeling comfortable and warm, and  _ safe _ in a way he’d never woken up to before. Steve was cuddled up behind him, in contact from chest to feet, with an arm wrapped around Tony’s waist to hold him close. Spooning him.

There was also a very distinctive hardness pressed into his backside, and Tony had to convince his traitorous heart that it didn’t mean anything. It was just Steve’s body reacting to the presence of another warm body, nothing to do with Tony specifically. Hell, it might’ve just been a sign that his bladder was full. 

There was no way Tony would be able to fall back asleep, nor did he want to leave Steve’s warm embrace. He just lay there, didn’t move a muscle in case it disturbed Steve’s sleep, and enjoyed how his dream had become reality for a moment, desperately wishing he could have this moment forever, for real. 

  
  



	3. K5- Drunk Dialling/Wrong Number

It was done. Within the next few hours all of the gossip sites would start spreading the story that Tony had cheated on Steve, if they hadn’t already. 

Their show at Tony’s birthday party had been Oscar worthy, if Tony did say so himself. Obie has been watching them like a hawk the entire time, and so had half of the guest list, but Steve gave a perfect performance of ‘loving husband’, and Tony hadn’t exactly had to pretend for his part. The gossip sites had been holding them up as an example of the perfect couple, and now they’d have to eat their words, Tony thought bitterly. 

His conversation with Obie the next day hadn’t exactly been pleasant, even if he left the meeting room with everything he wanted. Obie had been like a father to him, more than Howard had ever been, and some small part of him had hoped that the whole situation had been a big misunderstanding, that Obie wasn’t really trying to cut him out of his own company. But, faced with Obie’s cold fury at having all of his excuses shot down, Tony was forced to admit the truth to himself- Obie’s interest and supposed care for him had just been a means to an end, an attempt to keep control of the company through him. 

Tony had given Obie an ultimatum: there could be a big legal battle, which they both knew Tony would win, and which would drag the company name through the mud along with his reputation; or, Obie could give in and play along, make a good news story out of passing things along to the next generation. 

“I’ll be keeping a close eye on things,” had been Obie’s parting shot. “Waiting for it all to go to shit. And when it does, I’ll be back. And trust me, when that day comes, the board of directors will be begging me to return so I can resurrect the glory days.”

Tony said nothing in reply, just watched stony-faced as Obie walked out the door.

-

With control of the company finally in his hands, there was no longer any need to keep Steve tied to him. The Grand View General Hospital Gala was the perfect chance to put his plan into action. Janet van Dyne was an old friend and, after he’d explained everything to her, she’d been more than happy to help him with his plan. He hadn’t told her how he’d developed real feelings for his fake husband, but the pitying look she’d given him meant she’d probably figured it out anyway. 

Tony had made sure to be seen leaving the Gala arm-in-arm with Jan, headed home to her apartment. Sleeping on her couch still wearing his suit had left him looking perfectly disheveled for a walk of shame. Now all that was left was to let the rumours spread for a few days, and maybe be noticed staying in a separate apartment to Steve. 

Once the speculation reached its peak, they would put out a carefully prepared statement full of the usual bullshit for situations like this. ‘Blah blah, we’ve realised we're better as friends than partners, blah blah, we request privacy during this difficult time, blah blah.’

Everything had gone exactly to plan, but it felt like a hollow victory. He had the company now, but he didn’t have Steve, not to mention the loss of the last family connection (he’d thought) he’d had. It just didn’t seem like a worthwhile trade off. 

Which was why Tony said yes to the invitation to a friend of a friend’s Fourth of July party. He wasn’t in the mood to be social, much less to find a fling to take his mind off of Steve, but drowning his sorrows sounded like a great idea. There was plenty of shitty beer to go around, which suited Tony just fine. 

It was harder than it should have been to avoid thinking about Steve, because today was his birthday. For Tony’s birthday a month ago, Steve had given him a sketch of himself from while he was working in the workshop. It was one of the best presents he’d ever recieved, which meant Tony had been trying to come up with something even better. One possibility he’d been considering was surprising Steve with a weekend away in Paris to see all of the art museums. Steve had mentioned, more than once, how much he’d love to visit one day, and Tony had wanted to give him that. 

But now it was a moot point. Obie had forced him to move up the timeline of the plan, which meant Tony no longer got to pretend to be an extravagant gift-giving husband. And it also seemed like Tony wouldn’t get to just be Steve’s friend after all this either. 

Steve had not been happy at all when the news of Tony’s ‘cheating’ had broken, and not just because he’d been blindsided by a gossip reporter looking to get the scoop. The phone call that had followed had been loud. Maybe Tony should have given Steve warning that he was ready to end their pretence, but he didn’t think it warranted the shouting match that had ensued. Steve had been pissed that Tony had unilaterally called an end to their fake relationship, even though Tony thought it lent authenticity to Steve’s reaction. 

Not that that was his real motivation- he just didn’t want Steve to try to talk him out of it. Months ago, when they’d headed to Vegas to start the next phase of the plan in motion, Steve had made his displeasure clear when it came to the playboy persona some people seemed to think of him. At the time, Tony had barely kept himself from confessing his feelings for Steve, and it wasn’t like anything had changed for Tony in that regard. 

He really needed to stop thinking about Steve- and maybe playing a drinking game with himself would do the trick. Every time he thought about Steve, he’d take a drink. Eventually something else would catch his attention, or he’d be passed out somewhere. Either way, he wouldn’t be thinking of Steve. 

Hey! Now everything was over and done, he could finally tell Rhodey everything! It was too noisy downstairs, so with great care not to spill his drink, Tony made his way up to where the bedrooms were. It took a few tries to find one not already occupied by an amorous couple, but it was much quieter when he did and could shut the door behind him. 

The bed looked very comfortable, so Tony decided it would be a great place to sit. He struggled to get his phone out of his pocket, until he realised he could put his drink down on the 0bedside table. 

He scrolled through the contacts list until he reached the entry for Rhodey, and then fumbled it just as he hit dial. Lost in the tangle of blankets, the phone speaker was muffled enough that he couldn’t hear the voicemail greeting. He fumbled his phone a few times before he managed to bring it to his ear just in time to hear the beep. 

“Heeeeeyyyyyy, honey bear. I guess you’ve probably heard it all by now. I got the company back! But then I lost Steve. Because he was helping me fool Obie. You were right about him, by the way. He didn’t want to give the company to me, even though Howard’s will said it should go to me. Which is why I had to marry Steve! To somehow prove my  _ maturity _ . Cos Howard’s a dick. But I showed him!” Tony was proud for a moment, before he remembered why he was sad.

“But then it all went wrong,” he said sadly. “I didn’t mean to fall in love with Steve. He was only meant to be my fake husband. I had a crush on him at the start, but I thought I could handle it. But then I got to date him, and be married to him. It was inevitable that I fell in love with him. He was just so willing to help, and to listen to me ramble, and he likes playing with DUM-E, and he’s wonderful. And he’s hot as fuck. I mean, have you seen those abs? I wish I could—”

Tony’s rambling was cut off by the dial tone. Huh. He must have reached the length limit of Rhodey’s voicemail inbox. That was okay. He was comfy here on the bed, he would close his eyes for just a minute before he had to head back downstairs and deal with the people and the noise again. 

Tony had no recollection of how he made it home after the party, and trying to remember made the pounding in his head even worse. Normally after getting that wasted Rhodey would pour a few glasses of water into him before letting him sleep, and then leave a dose of painkillers on the bedside table for him. But Rhodey wasn’t here. Neither was Steve. Which meant Tony had to look after himself. 

First step was finding water, so he could get rid of the cotton ball feeling in his mouth. Then painkillers for this fucker of a headache, and then clothes. He’d only done half the job of getting undressed last night; he was wearing a shirt that stank like beer had been spilled on it, one sock, and no pants. 

It took several minutes for Tony to realise the pounding wasn’t just his head, there was someone trying to beat down his door. 

Not just someone. Steve.

Steve was at his door. Why was Steve at his door?

“Did you mean it?” Steve asked. Demanded really.

Tony had no idea what Steve was on about, and he was far too hungover to deal with this with no pants. He said as much to Steve, and told him come in and wait in the kitchen while he got dressed. 

He shuffled into the bedroom, and then had to take a minute when bending down to pick his pants up off the floor gave him a head rush. His phone was still in the pocket, and there were a few unanswered notifications on the screen. As he scrolled through them, he was struck with a horrible suspicion. 

The recent call list confirmed it. Last night, in his drunken state, he had called Rogers, Steve. Instead of Rhodes, James. The names were right next to each other in his contact list. Which meant the “Ode to Steve’s Abs” he had vague memories of regaling Rhodey’s voicemail with had actually been sent to Steve. Who had obviously heard it, along with every other embarrassing thing Tony had said last night. And was now waiting in Tony’s kitchen. To talk.

Tony had never wished so strongly for a hole in the floor to open up and swallow him. Maybe if he just hid in the bedroom for long enough Steve would get tired of waiting and leave. 

But that would be the cowards way out. He’d eventually have to talk to Steve, and the longer he left it the more awkward it would be. The painkillers were finally starting to work, so Tony took a few deep breaths to brace himself and went to face the music. 

He was about to launch into a stream of meaningless chatter to divert the conversation in a less painful direction to start with, but the words died in his throat. Sitting there on the counter was a steaming hot cup of coffee. He took it hesitantly, and avoided looking directly at Steve. The last time Steve had brought him coffee Tony had blurted out “I love you”, and now really would not be a good time for a repeat of that fuck up. 

But out of the corner of his eye he could tell Steve making a sheepish face. “I just… You seemed like you really needed it,” was his explanation. 

Oh god. How was Tony meant to get over Steve when he kept coming up with thoughtful gestures like this one? 

The quicker he could get Steve to day whatever he came here to say, the better. Then he could start to put it all behind him, and nurse his broken heart in peace. 

“Why are you here, Steve?” 

“Because I miss you Tony. I’ve missed you for the past month. I was willing to leave it be when I thought that was what you wanted. But then…” Steve trailed off.

“Then I got absolutely smashed and left a rambling voicemail message on your phone instead of Rhodey’s,” Tony finished the sentence with a wry smile.

“Did you mean it?” Steve repeated the question he’d first asked when Tony answered the door.

This was it. The moment of truth. “I don’t exactly remember what I said,” Tony hedged. “But, from what I do recall, yeah. I meant why I said.”

“Do you love me?” 

God, Steve was really going to make him say it, wasn’t he?

“Yes, I do. I was never happier than when I got to spend time with you, when I got to pretend you were really mine.”

Tony had avoided looking at Steve until now, staring at his coffee instead. He didn’t want to see the pitying look he was sure Steve was giving him, but when he finally did look up he didn’t expect what he saw.

Steve was beaming at him. Like a kid who’d just been told he was going to Disneyland. Hope started to bloom in Tony’s chest, and then Steve said it. He loved Tony, too.

“I came straight here as soon as I heard the message. I would have heard it and tried to find you last night, when you left that message, but I was out with Bucky and he confiscated my phone. Apparently I ‘can’t be trusted not to do something stupid, like drunk text the ex’,” Steve said, presumably quoting Bucky. 

Tony laughed. “Well, it’s not like I have much room to talk. Rhodey would have done the exact same thing to me, if he’d been there.”

“Then I’m glad he wasn’t,” Steve said, and somehow he was right in front of Tony. So close he would barely have to move to kiss him. 

“I haven’t filled anything out on the divorce papers, yet,” Tony said hesitantly. “The lawyers sent it all to me when I asked, but I couldn’t bring myself to make it final.”

“Maybe…” Steve paused to think for a minute. “Maybe we shouldn’t? Maybe we give it a chance, see where this goes for real?”

“We’ll have to come up with some sort of explanation when we put out a public statement. God, the PR team are gonna absolutely hate me after this.”

“We can just say it was based on a big misunderstanding, which we’ve now worked through and reconciled. No one is owed any more details than that.”

“You know that’s not going to stop them asking anyway, right?”

“Doesn’t matter to me. What is important is what are we going to do for our first real date?”

“I did have something amazing planned for your birthday, which obviously didn’t happen. I can easily change the arrangements, we can go today if you want. I hope your passport is good to go.”

“Two points. First- right now you don’t look like you’re in a fit state to make it down to the cafe, much less travel halfway around the world. And second- you’ve already given me the best birthday present possible. I get to have you, for real this time.”

“You sap.” Tony tried to sound dismissive of the flattery, but he could feel the heat in his cheeks as his blush gave away how pleased he was with Steve’s words. 

“You really seem like you need some more sleep. How bout you go back to bed, we can talk more in a few hours.”

“Only if you come with me,” Tony replied. 


End file.
